Life of a Slumlord - Continued...Pt. 2

Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

One would think that a mere sixteen apartments could not possibly cause SO many problems! One would be wrong.



First of all, you have the guy (in apt. A) who refuses to park in his own spot. His neighbor in apt. B complains. In retaliation tenant A (whom I'll call Buck) sits in his car and turns up the stereo to eardrum-busting decibels. Buck, also, complains that the first complainee in apt. B (I'll call her Tanya) is messing around with a third tenant (upstairs in apt. C, just above apt. A), hereafter known as Chet. Of course, Chet is married - and NOT to Tanya. Then Buck's live-in - who is the actual lessee of apt. A (and the ONLY one who actually has a job - let's call her Tiffany) finds out that Tanya is giving b--- jobs to Buck while she (Tiffany) is out earning the rent!

All of this is learned through a series of late night phone calls -- as though WE care who is doing what to whom! Then Buck gets mad and leaves Tiffany. But, of course, he still has a key. Lo and behold Tiffany comes home one day to discover there has been a "break-in" and her television and other things of value are missing. Gee, I wonder who could have done this terrible deed!? But somehow this must be the fault of the landlord for not protecting his tenants!

So, now, NO ONE is paying their rent. And the so-called eviction process must begin. Several legal notices and unpaid months of rent later, these "upstanding citizens" are gone. Before they leave, though, they must show their dissatisfaction by taking several really-stinky trash bags out of the dumpster and spreading their contents (including dirty diapers, of course) throughout the apartment. A few holes in the walls, ripped blinds and a stolen oven door are just a few of the finishing touches!

Ain't the life of a landlord grand?!